Fitting Back Into Life
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Who’s that sexy fox to the right?
Same girl as the one to the left! Maybe a bit...
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I am currently having a panic
Because in 6 months time, uni will be over, and I will be starting the next phase of my life in England. The friends...
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dress!
Since you a few of you guys asked, this is the dress :)
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Every little bit counts
1-Choosing to take the stairs over the elevator.
2-Getting the tall skinny latte instead of the grande caramel frap w/extra...
Losing weight = eating balanced, healthy portions/meals + physical activity + sticking to it. You don’t need to extreme diet or starve yourself. You don’t need to spend hours a day in the gym or doing excessive amounts cardio (please strength train. Please). You just need determination and the will to succeed when it gets hard, because it will get hard.
I have 2 more months to reach my GW. I feel incredible already. If anyone is reading this and has been contemplating losing weight/getting fit - START TODAY. Stop putting it off. It’s never ever too late to begin. Just do it! (I stole that one, Nike). It is hands down the best decision I’ve ever made. It’s changed my life for the better and was worth every bead of sweat and every food turned down to get here. Yes, it takes time. A lot of time. But I will gladly give it, and so should you.
xoxo.
The Awakening
(Author unknown)
A time comes in your life when you finally get…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH1 Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.
You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.
You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.
You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not you job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.
You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you lean not to always take it personally.
You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You lean that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart’s desire.
You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
My post from yesterday on the first week of the Hate-loss Challenge.
Today is group therapy Thursday over at the Hate-loss Challenge. This week we have been challenged to dig into our pasts and take a look at the incidents that contributed to our lack of self-esteem.
Today Ellen asked us to…
Think back to a time or place in your life when you formed negative thoughts about yourself. Why do you think you are undeserving of praise?
My extreme self-hated wasn’t brought on by any one incident or person. I brought it all on myself.
I was always a confident child. In fact, maybe a little too confident. I watch old home movies of myself now and I’m ashamed to say I was kind of a brat. I was an only child and spoiled by my parents. I got everything I ever wanted and I was taught early on that I was just as good as everyone else, that I should never let anyone walk all over me. And I didn’t. I spent 6 years in Karate classes and never tolerated any crap from bullies. So the kids I went to school with learned pretty quickly not to mess with me, or with anyone else in front of me.
My problems didn’t start until my senior year of high school, after the death of my boyfriend. He killed himself and I fell into a depression so deep that I completely stopped living. I quit school (six credits shy of graduating), quit karate, and quit seeing my friends. I gained 50 pounds in less than a year and with every pound my self-image plummeted.
Thoughts on what I’ve gained from losing 116 pounds…
At the beginning of this weight loss journey, I wanted to become my own success story. I wanted to create my best life and my best self possible. I wanted to create my own sweet destiny. I’ve done those things - and so much more - because I finally lost the weight I’d been carrying around for so many years.
I started this blog and this new life on January 1, 2011. I started Weight Watchers on January 3, 2011 weighing in at 267.2 pounds. Tonight (Dec. 12, 2011) weighed in at 151 pounds. 49 weigh ins. 344 days. 116 pounds lost. I started at a pants size 22 (busting out of size 22…so close to 24). My XXL shirts were getting tight. Today? pants size 8. My medium shirts are getting loose.
I’ve gained a lot from losing big.
Simply put, I’ve gained my life back. A woman near me at weight watchers commented, “it’s two totally different people,” when seeing my “before” picture. That is so true. On the inside, there are many ways in which I am the SAME person. But, on the outside and on the inside, there are so many ways in which I am a DIFFERENT person.
I was “normal” sized and athletic as a child, through high school, and even through college. After college I went through a deep depression, and the weight started coming on. From January 2004 until December 2010 I packed on 107 pounds. Not all of those years were spent depressed, but many were.
I spent most of my 20’s overweight…..no, not just overweight. I was obese. I was leading an unhealthy life that was going to send me to an early grave. I was an emotional eater. If i was _________ (insert emotion here), I ate. I ate a LOT. My portions were out of control. It was typical for me to eat fast food for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner. I would go to two fast food places for dinner on a regular (nightly) basis for supper. I drank lots of dr. pepper. 6-7 cans A DAY. I didn’t exercise. My nightly routine consisted of getting food, sitting on my couch eating food, and watching tv.
I was unhappy, unhealthy, unmotivated, and apathetic toward my health and my life in general. I had little self-confidence. Most days, I didn’t like myself. My smiles were fake smiles. I hid from my friends, my family, the world. I frequently had chest pains and even took myself to the ER once because of them.
Enter Ben Davis, of Ben Does Life Fame. During the fall of 2010, I clicked on a link a friend had posted on FaceBook. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve watched his video and many of those times had tears in my eyes. I’ve read his entire blog from start to finish not once, but twice. I kept thinking, “He’s a real, normal person. No special pills, no special surgeries, no special diets. If he can do it, I can do it.”
Last winter break I spent about a week at my dad’s house. I spent a lot of time thinking and reflecting on my life - my past, present, and future. I KNEW it was time to change. I had tried countless times before to lose weight. I would lose 10-20 pounds and then gain it back plus some more. There wasn’t one event that made everything click. I honestly don’t know why THIS time it worked. I’m just thankful that this “perfect storm” of events - whatever those events were - finally came together and made this weight loss journey a reality.
Over the last 11.5 months, I’ve transformed my life and transformed myself. I’ve done things I NEVER thought I would do, let alone want to do and enjoy doing. I started exercising and running. I started lifting weights. I started water exercises. I’ve completed five 5ks, one 10K, one 15k, and two half marathons. I’ve ran and walked countless miles. I’ve spent countless hours at the gym. I started and am doing P90X. I don’t drink pop anymore. I eat healthy foods of regular serving-sizes.
Over the last 11.5 months:
- I’ve lost the voice that said, “I can’t” and gained the voice that say, “I can and I will!”
- I’ve lost the unhappy girl who didn’t like herself on most days and gained a happy, self-confident woman who cares about her life and her future.
- I’ve lost the feeling of, “I’m not good enough” and gained the feeling of, “I am worth it!”
- I’ve lost the feeling of “Losing weight is too hard” and gained the knowledge that, “Losing weight is work - hard work. But it is SOOOOO worth it and it’s rewards are soooooo good!”
- I’ve lost the lonely, boring life I used to hide in and gained a life I love and look forward to! I’m no longer hiding from my friends, family, and the world.
- I’ve lost the voice that said, “You’ll never be able to do it” and gained the voice that says, “I can do anything I work hard for!”
- I’ve lost the hatred of exercise and gained a love of running, exercise, and leading an active lifestyle.
- I’ve lost the lack of motivation and procrastination that plagued me and gained motivation, determination, and a “do it now” attitude.
- I’ve lost the mediocre teacher, friend, aunt, niece, cousin, sister, and daughter I was, and gained a desire to be the best person I can be.
Over the last 11.5 months, I’ve strengthened relationships in my life with those I love, and have become closer to many of my friends and family. I’ve fallen in love with running, exercising, tumblr, weight watchers, and my healthy lifestyle. I’ve fallen in love with my life and i live a life i love. I’ve found strength and courage I didn’t know I had in me by doing things I didn’t know if I could do.
And the girl who’s done these things - the one who used to not care much for herself and her life….
I’ve fallen in love with her, too.
This is fantastic.
I really needed to hear and see this. Thank you for sharing your story.
I totally forgot to tell you I bought a Fitbook!
I really prefer to use pen and paper rather than a computer to track my progress and I’ve read lots of good things about Fitbook. So I was happy to see that they were available at Target.
I would have liked to start using it today but it was such a crap day with my sleep schedule all screwed up. I slept all day and I am still exhausted. So, other then watching what I ate I didn’t do anything.
I’m still so tired I am going to bed here in a few minutes after I finish this post.
I’ll let you know what I think of it as I start using it.
Man, my sleep schedule’s all screwed up again! I’m not going to have a chance to do well unless I can fix this.
That is my biggest set back right now and it’s driving me nuts. I’ve identified it, but somehow I’m just having such a hard time mastering it again. My appetite is just so strange now. It’s never sugar, always salty things. Or I’ll over eating the healthy stuff.
I have the exact same problem, only my cravings are for sweet stuff. I can’t have anything too sweet in my house or I will always choose to eat that over everything else.
